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Why not? - Some absurd ideas.
By James | July 13, 2007
I thought I would share some weird ideas I have been kicking around. Some abstract thoughts and “what if” scenarios that are rather funny but still make you think. Some of these are absurd, but have been floating in the back of my pool of brainy mush for a long while and I need to get them down in writing.
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Most people have a plan for when they die, such as being cremated and having their ashes dumped in to some river or off of some cliff or mountain. Some people want to be buried with their favorite object, like an instrument or a picture of their hamster. There is a big problem with all of these, they are neither creative nor smart! It is in our nature to survive, why not keep it going after you die? When I die, I want my body to be cryogenized and launched in to space. I want to it be launched in to some random direction, preferably away from the sun. This leaves a chance, an infinitesimal chance, that I may be captured by some intelligent alien life form. They could either revive me, or take my brain out to study it, preferably followed by putting it in to some sweet cyborg. Why not? Sure the odds of me getting sucked in to a black hole or annihilated by cosmic particles are higher than the former, but at least my chances of coming back to life are better than being stuffed under a mound of dirt, grass, and cat crap, and they are especially better than being cremated.
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What about that popular goal of world peace? Everybody laughs at the whole concept, I guess because they think it’s impossible and maybe it is, but has anyone ever gave a serious effort to achieve this goal? There are lots of peace organizations out there, all with similar goals and purposes. Why don’t they all join up? Why not attempt to bring people together one step at a time? Start with local people, then a state or country, then an entire race, then bring together countries, cultures, and eventually religion. Find a living style and belief system that everyone can support. If you really think about it, we are all the same. We all have the same needs, the same understanding of life, we are all the same species. If only people would become conscious of true reality, they would realize that there is no reason not to have peace and love amongst everyone. We all are born, try to survive, then we die. Whether you believe in an afterlife or not is irrelevant. Are people just too lazy? Overwhelmed? Maybe nobody has attempted this because they don’t have enough support- they could ask. Anything that is not peaceful in this world is caused by revenge, brainwashing, or a bad understanding of nature and reality. Maybe if we work on those?
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We have the ability to communicate almost instantly with anyone in the world in any location. We have the ability to fly to mars and capture videos and photos. We have the ability to control electronic devices using our minds. We are able to create 45nm transistors. We are able to put 64Gb of data on a flash drive the size of a pack of gum. All of this great technology and we can’t create a lawn mower that starts. I was outside for a good 20 minutes a few weeks ago trying to get the stupid thing to start. It’s a new mower, full tank of gas, etc… so I go out and try to mow my 0.001 acres of lawn. 3 pulls, 3 primes, 3 pulls, 3 primes, flooded… come back 10 minutes later, 3 pulls, 3 primes, 3 pulls… almost starts, 3 pulls, 3 primes, 3 pulls, go back inside and have a sandwich. I should get a free electric start mower once I reach 50 pulls.
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After using the computer for so many years I have formed a few bad habits that make my non-computing life a lot more inconvenient. I have become so adapted to the undo, find, print, save etc… that it angers me that I can’t use these in the real world. Have you ever been searching all day through a book to find a specific paragraph or sentence? We need a “find” function for books. We also need an undo button for our daily decisions. We need a print or save feature for our conversations and sexual encounters. Someone should invent these, I would buy them.
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You know what really grinds my gear? Our road systems. What about private roads for commercial trucks? I’m tired of this massive beastly trucks taking up an entire highway trying to make a turn, holding up traffic. They are always going up small side roads and driving up on the sidewalks. We need some private roads for commercial trucks. While we’re at it, let’s convert all of our public transportation to high speed bus-planes. We could just sore over the cities and people could parachute out whenever. The bus drivers in this city are insane, road-raged, arrogant, low-life, sociopathic pricks… they don’t belong on the streets; moreover, would it not be sweet to drop out of the sky every morning on your way to work?
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[Updated 7-25-07]
I had a pretty good idea for getting rich. It’s perfectly legal, perfectly safe, and it’s even ethical. You start out posing as a teenage girl in a chat room. If you’re lucky enough, you can catch a nice pedophile. Start leading him on and get him really excited. It could take a few days to form a solid ‘relationship’. After you bond, start talking about meeting him. Say you want to run away to him because your life sucks so bad. But the big thing here is that you “don’t have any money”, and he will most likely wire you some money for a plane ticket. If you pick someone a few thousand miles away, this is an easy 500 to 1,000 dollars… all safely wired to a paypal or savings account. You could get multiple clients going at once too. If you get lucky, this could be like $10k a month or more. It’s considered a gift, so it could hold up in court. But what are the chances of him suing you anyway- he’s a freaking pedophile! He would go to prison before they would even consider his case. I haven’t tried this, but if you do, let me know how it goes. Be sure to keep chat logs.
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I like my ideas, so I will update this page every time I think of a new one. Keep updated etc…
Topics: Philosophy |
August 12th, 2007 at 1:54 am
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